Hi,
For 15 years I kept this quiet but after hitting 30 I couldn’t any more.
To some people who I have met in that time you probably noticed I have felt a bit quiet and passive. The truth is I have been dealing with depression and that has caused me to isolate myself from the outside world for some time. Which has had a negative impact in my social life, and I knew the cause of it all along.
But the truth is I was always scared to tell anybody due to people’s negative reactions, not even my own family.
The truth is I have been suffering from both body dysphoria and gender dysphoria throughout that time, I was hoping losing weight would be good enough but it wasn’t, even going from 100kg to about 60kg didn’t completely cure me of this sadness.
Now onto gender dysphoria, you probably have heard of this by now and if you get your news from the media you probably have a very negative view on it. The truth is I never wanted to be a boy, even when I was 6 years old I didn’t want people to see me as one. But I guess in the late 90’s early 2000s was a bad time for people like me.
When my voice started to get deeper my mood dropped. Even at school I just sat at the back of the class silent because I felt it was easier to keep all this hidden. I feel like I wasn’t even trying to learn but just going through the motions.
The reason I am telling you this now, is because that depression made me lose out on my 20s as I spent most of the decade trapped in my room and isolated from everyone, scared to go out, scared to work, scared to have any sort of life. I don’t want to lose out on my 30s either.
So I have started the process to fix my gender dysphoria and the wheels are in motion but the waitlist for what I want is about 2 years.
If anyone wants to reach out either in real life or on social media that would mean the world to me. As I want this year to be the birth of a new and better me.
Thank you for reading.
Liam